Clucking hell. I cannot stand “fowl” language!
When I finished the book, I was tempted to
swearily start off to make a point but then I thought, fuck that shite for a
load of old bollocks. There is no rule against profanities. There is however a
request to "Please respect other people’s views and beliefs". I find
this most peculiar. I am quite prepared to respect other people, but
"views and beliefs"? Some "views and beliefs" are simply
not respectable. For example I cannot respect the view that women are inferior,
or the belief that the moon is made of green cheese.
Swearing is a resource to relieve a person from
accumulated stress. It takes a considerable amount of stress to behave in a
society full of chores and rules. As such, any sudden mental breakthroughs from
that constraint, for example by breaking Chinese ceramic or by swearing -
especially with words considered "taboo"- can be regarding, and even
healthy. I guess in sports it would be silly to associate swearing to increased
physical performance, but rather aimed at preventing a mental discouragement or
breakdown while attempting at excessively difficult tasks.
In one of my previous teams at work we had a
"competition" each week to think up a new swear phrase by combining a
swear word with a theme of the week (kitchen implement, garden equipment,
farmyard animal, etc.). Inventive and expressive. Best teams always swear
together. It’s very bonding. We were discussing the best swear word every other
day for impact and ‘special’ occasions. The “E” word (“enconados” – cunts)
always got top marks.
Nothing is more appropriate than a well-placed
bit of ‘bad’ language. The world would be a much messed up place without it.
Just think if we weren’t allowed to drop the odd F-bomb and the like. After I
stopped playing football I use to miss a good old rendition of ("vamos
rebentar com o caralho das vossas cabeças' - You're gonna get your fucking
heads kicked in' down the footy on a Saturday. Don't like the aggression.
Prefer the assertive "come and 'ave a go if you think you're hard
enough".
Here's one more to add to Ms. Byrne's
interesting research: Swearing is a great way to learn a foreign language
quickly. Not university type courses, of course, but the day-to-day way of
acquainting with a new language. No swear, no good. It's an absolute must to
first pick up all the swear words. This helps to, hum, lubricate the learning
process, and creates camaraderie, and you just sail straight on from there.
It's like you've breached the holy of holies. I've found that the English
language is suitable like no other to swearing. A "fucking" here, a
"shit" there, rolls nicely of the tongue and you can still sound
clever and funny while doing it. Try the same in German or Portuguese and you
just come across as a vulgar chav. Coming to think of it, using the four-letter
fornicative or conjugations and declinations thereof doesn't make you sound
"clever" and "funny" at all. That word should be reserved
for the most extreme of situations, such as accidentally chopping your foot
off, or someone causing irreparable damage to your favourite “belovèd”
automobile. On top of that, swearing at the traffic while I cycle or “e-scoot”
to work gets me there much, much quicker. And I can crush a packet of biscuits
much more easily while mouthing off.
Poo.
Bum.
Willies.
Jobbies.
I feel stronger already!
